(In case you're wondering, no, I don't like TI, who wrote the above lyrics. He just got arrested for weapons or something related to them. But my coworker's cell phone rings with the above lyrics, and so I frequently have the song in my head.) [shrug]
With the recent craziness of our small household, I've lost myself in a little bit of thought of what I want for our future. Most of it is different than most peoples' wants, I suppose.
I would love to live in the boonies, on a little homestead, Little-House-on-the-Prairie-Style. Just, you know, with electricity... and running water... and my internet. I do enjoy Google and Wikipedia. But I'd love to make my own soap, which I can't do now for lack of time and space. I want a garden big enough to take care of at least some of our winter food, and learn canning -- again -- lack of time and space. Enough kids that we have a good sized family, but not so many that we can't have a decent lifestyle (no, I don't know what that means yet). I want to have a house that is clean and fresh, with our own home grown flowers adorning the big dining room table. I want a kitchen open enough to the rest of the house that I can be there and not cut off from friends when they are over for dinner. I want a pretty but eclectic tea set that I can haul out after dinner, with enough time to be able to actually relax and enjoy it. I want chickens (I think). I don't know if I'd like to homeschool our kids, but it's a possibility. I like baking bread -- even though I don't quite have my method down pat yet -- and want to bake more.
I never imagined saying this, but I get some silly satisfaction out of taking care of the home. I remember glorifying the 1950's housewife lifestyle when I was a kid, wishing to playact in it for a time. And I had started doing that after getting married, but thought that I had to be careful in setting up that soon-to-be-cemented expectation in Matt that this was the way it would always be. Then I realized -- this was enjoyable. I liked this. Huh.
So I've found myself enjoying that simpler life that I've talked about for years. Buying fewer things, making more of our own household supplies (baking soda is AWESOME at de-griming a bathtub), trying to keep a slower pace. I always talked a good talk, but I'm finally living it. Well... okay, kind of living it. As much as one can when living in a huge city in a small apartment working at a desk job. I've gotten rid of debt, I don't spend as much -- or when I do, I spend intelligently on something I plan on having for a LONG time.
I finally feel like my religious search has mellowed, too. I have finally settled back into a version of a mindset I had years ago, just more Abrahamic-based. I feel like I can look to God for the stability I need, but know that I can't expect any help unless I first get my own rear in gear. I'm not perfect, but no one judges me except for Him, through the eyes of the One who gave me this life I lead. As long as I'm doing the best I can -- and actually doing my best, not just faking it -- I'll be fine. I hope that I can bring light to everyone in my life.
I know that in the past I looked upon people who were "simple" and thought they were missing out; it was too bad they didn't see all that life had to offer. If only they would reach out from their small lives, spread their wings and fly! Think critically of life and of the people around them, expand from where their families came from! I've finally begun to realize how wrong I was -- not necessarily for everyone, but for me. Maybe it was a stage I was going through, or maybe it was just me trying to make good on all the good education given to me by my parents. But simple isn't necessarily less. I can't preach it to everyone, though I hope that I can subtly influence other people to make similar choices. We can have whatever we want -- and if simple we want, simple we can have.
But living simply doesn't mean you can't have and enjoy these every now and then (as long as you get a good deal).
I love my life. [smiles]
Yours in Simplification.