Sunday, January 07, 2007

Some resolutions.

Though I normally don't care for resolutions -- they have a nasty habit of getting broken, and who says we have to wait for January 1st to decide to make a change? -- I think I will have a few this year.

I never make 'lose weight' or 'find a good man' my resolutions. That's just asking to fail. Not that I'm that pessimistic over those issues. But I think I'm doing pretty good on the health front (for the most part), and I don't want to put pressure on myself for either issue. Besides, too many people try to resolve those sorts of things, and fail, so they've got a bad rep. Better to stay away from them.

...although, my junior year of college I made a health resolution: eat less salt. I couldn't think of anything else, and I knew I had been a salt fiend -- and so that was it. And I did well -- by the end of the year, I couldn't find salt in the house for a cookie recipie. Annoying at the time, but at least I knew I had kicked the salt habit.

I'd like to make some sort of resolution about money, but I'm not sure how to do it. Too much like the about fitness and love resolutions -- very likely to fail. But very important to me this year, starting school and all. And the fact that the 19 year old receptionist at work has a better hold of money issues makes me cringe for myself. Must do something. Must do something. Must do something. Maybe just be more aware of where it all goes.

Last year, my resolution was to take better care of myself, no matter if it meant hurting other people in the process. Not that I became all Machiavellian and stepped on poor helpless souls to get ahead in life. I mean: if I am in a situation but it's not quite good for me, but I stay because it's good for someone else, and I just don't want that person to hurt -- don't do that. Be aware of what's good for me, and take care of myself before other people. I am my priority at this point in my life. No one else will look out for me like I can, so I'd better do it. And I think I did very well with that. I had my moments that I faultered, but in general I'm pretty proud of myself.

But for the new stuff: I want to figure out where I sit with religion, I want to keep my room clean on a regular basis, I want to be closer to my mother's side of the family, I want to get better at photography, I want to learn how to use my new Mac better. But too many resolutions lead to a scattered year. Don't try to do too much at once. Can't spread your attentions too far.

So here we go:

1. Pay attention to where the money goes. That's all. I want to be more careful with saving, but that's just a bonus. Baby steps here. Maybe I'll make use of my Quicken software. That's a good idea. (I think I had forgotten I even had it.)

2. Continue taking care of myself. It got harder at the end of the year, but I need to pay attention to where my thoughts are. I can't do anything about things in which I have no say in the matter, and dwelling on the bad stuff wears out the self. Staying up is hard, but that's why I have my friends to lean on.

3. Keep up with the religion issue. I don't want to put pressure on myself for making any decisions -- the slower I step in without other people's opinions, the more likely the decision will be mine alone. So just paying attention to myself is the best thing in this case.

So I suppose my resolutions all revolve around self-awareness.... and that sounds just a little 'new-age-y' for my taste. But I don't want to set myself up for failure by making broad, extreme choices. But should I make strong resolutions just to kick myself into gear? Are baby steps too easy?

Eh, I don't know. I'm feeling blah about all this. And blah in general right now, but I think that's because I'm still worn out from the holidays and travel and stress and a toothache and bits of sadness and not drinking enough water. Although this past weekend was nice and relaxing, and that helped quite a bit.

But these are the things I want to pay attention to. And so -- I will.

Resolve positively, everyone.