Thursday, September 22, 2005

four years of college and plenty of knowledge have earned me this useless degree...

So let me tell you about the job assignment I just finished...

I'm reminded of Meredith's comments about "staffing out" a job that no one else in the company wants to do. Remember, when the city of Bemidji didn't want to teach their second graders about good-touch-bad-touch themselves, so they had us silly Climb actors come in to do it for them?

Well, my job was like that. Except it was no where *near* as exciting as helping children figure out what do to if some stranger knocked on the door when their parents were having sex upstairs.

My job, ladies and gentlemen:

1. Look at the image of a scanned-in piece of paper on the computer screen.

2. If the image has the words going the wrong way, rotate it.

3. Move on to the next image.

4. Do this 60,000 times.

Yes, my friends, that's exactly what I did for the past two days... while standing at a tall counter... in a very cold room. I felt like I was in a sweat shop. Except for that cold part -- I didn't really sweat much. Really, trained monkeys could do this job. Of course, as my mother said, trained monkeys wouldn't *want* the job.

Anyway, I was too efficent, and got the job done in a day and a half instead of three. So they told me I was done, told me I could go, and stopped paying me. (I know -- what a deal for being amazing!)

But I have a job tomorrow checking the grammar in a stack of surveys, and if I'm lucky I'll get to transcribe some WindowsMedia sound files of... well, something. But it's a job. I also have some interviews next week with two companies who really like me, but I'm not getting excited yet.

Maybe I should just be a stripper. Who needs a college degree?

Thursday, September 15, 2005

ooh, ooh, me! ME!!! pick me!! ooh, me, pick me, pick me!

That's what I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs (yes, much like a kindergartener, thank you) every time I get on the internet to find a job. Really, people should want me more than they have been lately.

And today it's cloudy. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the 70-some degree weather. But really. At least give me some sun, here.

But on a happy note, one of the two squirrels in our wall was trapped in a humane (kind of) cage and taken to the nearby park. Hopefully it was indeed one of the two residing in the wall, otherwise it does us no good. Squirrel babies are cute, but not when they're in my wall.

That's really all. I await the sun so I can go to the beach and draw the funny people I see there.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


And when I say "prisoner", I don't mean as in the-black-and-white-stipes-with-the-bag-of-belongings-kept-for-you-until-you-leave (much like my dear roommate,sivilicious) type of prisoner. I mean by a desk.

So, as I have no permanent job right now, I take whatever the temp agency can find for me. Being a receptionist isn't too bad -- unless you're NEVER ALLOWED TO LEAVE. Okay, so that's a bit extreme. I am allowed to leave my desk from 10-10:15, from 12-1:00, and from 3-3:15. If I smoked, I would. Instead, I go outside (like the smokers do anyway) and sit outside, enjoying my freedom -- knowing full well that I have to go back inside all too soon. I'm like a 6 year old child with ADHD. And since it's a holiday weekend, hardly anyone called, so I had very little to do. I read two plays and two books in two days. Sometimes I just stand up at the desk. Sometimes I tuck one leg under. Sometimes I sit criss-cross-applesauce (thank you, elementary schoolteachers of Minnesota).

Anyway, although I am bored out of my mind, I *am* getting paid. I suppose it could be worse. I could be passing out reduced-fare bus cards to the college students of Chicago.

Oh, wait -- I'm doing that tomorrow.

At least I'll get to commune with life forms and maybe have (somewhat) meaningful conversations.

I wish I had gotten reduced-fare bus passes when I was in college. Lucky kids.

Oh, and an update on the apartment... yes, the shower is fixed. But we do have a squirrel. Think of it -- we got a free pet with the deal!

Friday, September 02, 2005

everything must go!

First, an update:

Okay, so there's not much. I'm still in Chicago. I'm still in the same apartment (the one that can't seem to get a plumber to come), and I'm still trying to find a permanent job. Everyone else since the swanky receptionist job loves me, so my ego is back in place. The two women I worked with the other day said the swanky place didn't hire me because the girl who trained me was intimidated -- I knew more about the copier than she did. We chuckled over that. Anyway, it doesn't so much matter. The job is not mine. (Not that I'm bitter. I'm not. ...stop giving me that look!)

Well, folks, it's time for me to pull out my soapbox. [sound of old, wooden box being dragged against concrete]

So, we're killing the world because we aren't living within the rules of earth's society.

Yeah, you heard me. (Oh, no... she's talking about saving the earth...)

Okay, but this'll be different.

So I read this book called Ishmael by Daniel Quinn for the second time the other day. I recommend it, and his other books are probably just as thought-provoking. There is a website: Ishmael I'm not sure I love the website, but there's at least some info there for you. And now that it has soaked in a little more, I can finally talk (or type) about it and know what I'm saying.

Imagine yourself back in the early 1900's and you are getting ready to try out your new flying machine (I know you didn't realize this, but you've been working on it a long time). Although others say you're crazy, you go to the top of a high cliff and shove off. You're flying! Wow, it's beautiful. You're flying with the birds, high above the trees. Now *this* is the life. You look down and see all the remains of older flying machines and chuckle to yourself. They just weren't as successful as you. This flying thing is amazing! Then you look down again and see the ground getting closer. No big deal -- just pedal faster (you've got one of those cool helicopter-like machines that's powered by bike pedals). And then you realize that no matter how hard you pedal, the ground is still getting closer.

You were never *really* flying. You coundn't have been, because your machine didn't follow the laws of aerodynamics. You only thought you were because you were far enough away from the ground.

And our society doesn't follow those laws, either. Well, not those flying ones. The aerodynamics part we have pretty much down pat. It's the laws of how to live that we haven't got figured out yet. We think we have our society, and yeah, things aren't quite right, but if we pedal faster we'll get past the hunger and disease and everything and it'll be smooth sailing. But I don't think our way of life will ever be smooth sailing. We just think we're flying because we're still far enough above ground and we haven't hit bottom yet.

Our species (most native tribes and indigineous people excluded) is the only one on this planet that eliminates its competitors so it can get ahead. The gazelles don't kill the zebras so they can have more grass and expand their territory. And yes, we are homo sapiens, and we have great brain power, and we have opposable thumbs, but that doesn't mean that we're so great we have to kill everything that doesn't feed us or feed our food sources. Even the gazelle isn't afaid of grazing near the lion if it knows the lion just ate. Why would the lion need to kill again?

We seem to have decided that living amongst others and keeping the natural way of life isn't good enough for us. That's for savages. And why leave our lives in the hands of the gods if we can decide for ourselves if we live or die? Just because we think of ourselves as the end-all-be-all doesn't mean we actually are.

Not that I'm saying we have to go back to living in caves or trees or whatever you're thinking. I'm pretty sure there's a way to enjoy our technology and a respectful way of living (to a point, anyway).

Diversity is good. That allows our earth to keep on going in case of a large catastophe. Some creatures would survive. But we like to kill all things that are in our way (coyotes around herds, bugs around farms, tribes near settlements, etc).

Not that I know how to change things.

That's all. Just ruminate on that for awhile, will ya? Make of it what you can, and tell others what you're thinking. That's the only way to fix things.

Thanks for dealing with the rambling, the sound of the soapbox being dragged, and the run-on sentences.