prerequisites, tests, and root canals

Imbroglio [im-BROHL-yoh] noun:
1. an intricate and confusing interpersonal or political situation
2. an complicated and perplexing state of affairs
3. a confused heap

Now that we've seen my word of the day ...moving on.

As most of you know, I'm getting ready to go back to school, essentially, to be a nurse of sorts. This requires me to take a number of prerequisite classes before I start, since I didn't take hardly any science or math classes for my undergrad theatre degree. (Surprise.) I've taken a few so far. Left to take:

Statistics
Microbiology
Organic Chemistry
Human Development

Four classes. No problem. Plenty of time to get that done between now and next August. Then I emailed the woman in charge of deciding what classes count, and checked course schedules and course requirements.

I can't take just any stats class, I have to take one specifically for nurses. And the only places that have that class require me to take a college algebra class. So I have to take algebra this year and the specific stat class at Akron U next summer, because that's the only place I can get to between now and then that only has one class requirement instead of two.

In order to take Organic chemistry, I have to take Chem I (and possibly Chem II, unless I find a way out of it, like writing a paper, taking a test, or schtupping the prof, but I'll deal with that halfway through the fall semester). So I have to take Chem I in the Fall so I can take Org Chem in the Spring. In order to take Chem I, I have to have taken college algebra. Which I have to take anyway. Except that I have to take algebra and chem both in the fall to make the timing work, so I'll have to try to test out of the algebra class for the chem class. And then still take the stupid algebra class, anyway, for the stat class.

Human Development is essentially the development of a human being, birth to grave. I found only two colleges I can get to with that specific class. One is Tri-C in Cleveland. The other is University of Phoenix Online. It does count, but is $494 a credit hour for a 3-credit class. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take Tri-C next summer.

Microbiology must be a 4 credit hour class, and include a lab. No classes like that around here that I can get after work hours, amazingly enough. So Tri-C college in Cleveland next summer it is. Which then means that I now have to take the REALLY expensive Human Development class from friggin' Univ of Phoenix for $1600, because I don't think I can take more than 2 classes in the summer. And I have to plan on possibly having to take Org Chem then, anyway.

So, the grand total:

College Algebra
Statistics
Chem I
Chem II (or prostitution, whatever)
Organic Chemistry
Microbiology
Human Growth & Development

Seven classes between now and next August. Plus working a 40-hour week (that will hopefully allow for me to pay for all these classes). Whew. No one will see me starting August 27th unless I work with you or you're in class with me... so don't think I've forsaken you. My schedule is just a bit crazy.


Also on my list: volunteering. I figure I should at least have, you know... SEEN a birth before I decide to spend an insane amount of money on learning how to make that my career. I've tried to get some experience over the past year, and midwives are happy to help, but the mothers seem to think birth is a private event or something. And then, if the midwife works at a non-profit, there are confidentiality issues that prevent them from having an unsigned assistant. So it's not been easy. But Monday I spent a few hours after work emailing birth centers, doula services, and other groups, and I think I may have a few leads. So that's good.

I'll be taking a childbirth class in August, for experience and for working toward my doula certification. It will be a good opportunity to network a bit. But it also has its last class on the weekend I was going to visit back home for a huge camp reunion... so the reunion is out. Sad. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

I need to take the GRE exam (ridiculous vocabulary and math be damned), the MAT (an exam that requires me to know a little bit about everything EVER). Hopefully I'll have given myself enough time to study by the end of August. Good luck to me.

I plan on learning Spanish in time for me to put that on my applications. I'll put some learn-Spanish-by-CD lessons on my ipod, and listen on the way into work every morning. That is, every morning I don't feel like studying for the GRE or MAT. I have a commute of an hour and a half from the new place, so there's plenty of time. :)

Ooh, and I get a root canal in August! At least I'll be able to chew on the left side of my mouth again. I hear you're supposed to be able to chew on both sides of your mouth. So that will be exciting.


We're not going to discuss the ratio of money earned to money that must be spent on classes and doctors.


This WILL all be worth it. I know it will, I'm not worried, and I'm not just saying that. The idea that I'll be helping & teaching & empowering women and their families to bring their children into the world in the safest, most caring environment possible makes me... I don't know. I just feel so good about it. I know I want to try to help bring more midwives into Ohio, that's for sure. And I really want to see if I can get involved with a program for lower income, single, or teen mothers. I think that's so important.


On an unrealated note, I'm excited to take my camera to the Taste of Chicago next week. Lots of crazy people and free music, including: Los Lonley Boys, Soul Asylum, John Mayer, and The Black Crowes. Pretty excited for that. :)


Well, anyway... that's that for now. Make it worth it, everyone.